You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
