Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
