Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Come on in and take your pants off
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