shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
