is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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