I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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