My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
