She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
