How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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