If i come over, it means nothing
You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I will be naked everywhere
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
