Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
