I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
