ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize