I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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