Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
