i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
