Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
