your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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