you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
