hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
