I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
