Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
