All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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