There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We are two peas in an std pod
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
