i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
