I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
