I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
