he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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