Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
