life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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