Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
