I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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