using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
