Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize