She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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