Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
