$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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