Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
