We're facebook friends in real life
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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