I seem to have left my pride at pride
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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