I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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