P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
