somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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