i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
