im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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