Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
