Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Randomize
