I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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