Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
