I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
