I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
