Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
