I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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