It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize