Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
