I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
