so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
