Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
