I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
