why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
