You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
