That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
