all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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