I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
