i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
